Author: Serenity Oaks Wellness Center

Detoxification can be considered a frightening and overwhelming process, but additionally it is a necessary first step on the journey to recovery and long-term sobriety. To make sure you have all the required support for a safe and successful detox, Serenity Recovery Middle offers an entire continuum of health care to meet the needs you have and keep maintaining your comfort as you proceed through this critical level of your treatment. By addressing the physical, mental health and psychological needs in our clients, we can put them on a positive trail to a wholesome recovery and an increased standard of living. Serenity Recovery Center 16237 Ventura Blvd. Encino, CA 91436 (844) 339-6964

Tips on Resiliency in Recovery

The news is fraught with incidences of tragic and horrific events on a national and local level. When something difficult hits home, like the death of a loved one, a serious disease like drug addiction and alcoholism, many people react to these circumstances with a flood of strong emotions and a sense of uncertainty. Yet, we can and do heal from all sorts of difficult and tragic events that disrupt our lives. Though we don’t forget the tragedy or the impact they have had on us, we are nonetheless able to tap into resources that help us adapt.

Getting through the stress and residue of hardship involves resilience. Resilience is a process that necessitates time, effort and taking action.

Consider the connections made at a funeral. There, we encounter family members whom we haven’t seen in years. Reconnecting with family, and connecting with friends during hard times can help dissipate momentus pain. Accepting help and support from those who care about us and who listen well, can strengthen our resilience. In addition to close friends and family, some find being active in social groups provides them with support, and they begin to fill in their lives with margins of hope. Support groups for addiction help foster connection, hope and resiliency, too.

We can try to see our personal crisis as something surmountable, rather than a constant blockade to peace of mind. We often can’t prevent our initial reactions to difficulty, nor, in many cases, could we have prevented the event. We can, over time, alter how we respond to these events. Thinking beyond the present to how future circumstances may unfold and be a little easier can help. Trying to be present to nuances of change will help too. Did I just laugh? I haven’t laughed for over two months!

In recovery, we have heard about acceptance over and over again. Though some of our endeavors and dreams may have changed due to an addiction, acceptance can help. Acceptance is like having a well-oiled key, as it gains us access to action and therefore, resiliency. Through time, rest and work, we may realize options are available to us, along with new channels of opportunity in which to explore.

Becoming resilient in recovery can be further garnered by developing a few realistic and attainable goals. When we undertake something on a regular basis, no matter how simple, and accomplish it, we are more likely to try again tomorrow. Hence, we develop a pattern of positive activity that adds to our resiliency.

Serenity Oaks provides an intensive 5 week program to support your sobriety and recovery from addiction. We provide medical support, detox, and other help such as building life skills. Through individualized programs we help you move forward in recovery. Call us to find out how we can help you get started: 844-396-8526.

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What Diagnoses are Common with Addiction?

Alcoholism abuse is associated with a number of mental health concerns. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) has the closest link to alcoholism. When compared to people who don’t have alcoholism, people who do are 21 times more likely to deal with ASPD. The two disorders often develop early in life. Alcoholism can make the ASPD worse, as intoxicated people might have lowered inhibitions, which makes their antisocial behaviors more prevalent.

People who have schizophrenia can develop addictions. A study in the American Journal of Psychiatry makes the assertion that about half of all the people with schizophrenia also struggle with an addiction. What was found to be particularly noteworthy is the association between marijuana abuse and schizophrenia. The reasons behind this are unclear though some theories suggest marijuana may produce some of the same symptoms experienced in the middle of a schizophrenic episode.

Cocaine addiction and anxiety disorders are linked to alcoholism because people who abuse cocaine often take the drug because it makes them feel euphoric and powerful. Continued abuse of cocaine can lead to symptoms more indicative of an anxiety disorder. These include: paranoia, hallucinations, suspicious behavior, Insomnia, and violence. It is believed that the aforementioned symptoms may fade away in people who have achieved lengthy sobriety. Though, even when sobriety has continued, the damage can sometimes linger.

Survivors of traumatic events, may be diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder due to their experience with serious physical and or emotional pain and injury. Physical injuries treated with prescription painkillers can lead a person to abuse the medications prescribed in their attempt to erase unpleasant memories and pain, and to experience euphoria. Likewise, alcohol abuse may be overly consumed to rid oneself of horrendous memories.

Heroin, in the short run, can make users feel exceptional pleasure. Long-time users may sabotage parts of the brain responsible for producing signals of pleasure. The user keeps going back for more and more to try and reproduce the original high from heroin. In time, and because of overuse, brain damage occurs that can lead to depression. Without the drug, users become incapable of feeling happiness. With a dual diagnosis, much can be done today in the service of alleviating pain and suffering, and making progress towards lasting sobriety.

Serenity Oaks provides an intensive 5 week program to support your sobriety and recovery from addiction. We aim to provide a space where you can find out how and why you have struggled with addiction. Our therapeutic and medical support are just one of the tools we provide to help set you up for success in recovery. Call us to find out how we can help you get started: 844-396-8526.

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From https://serenityoakswellnesscenter.blogspot.com/2018/11/what-diagnoses-are-common-with-addiction.html

When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Sometimes it can seem like everything in your life is going haywire. If you’re a new age type, you might say of these times that Mercury is in retrograde. Mercury in retrograde is blamed for everything from technological bugs, business deals gone awry, miscommunication, mechanical and electrical failures or issues like with your car and electronics. Astrologers explain that Mercury turning from west to east instead (retrograde) is actually an illusion. This is not to saying that when things don’t go your way it’s an illusion.

An illusion in some of us hold is that we can control everything. When our illusion of ultimate control is disproved it can cause us to be annoyed, angry and irritable. This is normal, for who isn’t annoyed by car problems or electric failures, along with the hassle of repairs and the expense. Being in recovery can ramp up our irritability. We couldn’t control an addiction, and now all these others situations are stressing us out.

Being in recovery gives us an opportunity to take a different view of difficulties, and our reaction to them. We know well about acceptance, since we’ve had to accept the harsh reality of an addiction—the thing that held us hostage and wrecked our lives—till now. Like we said before, it’s normal to be annoyed when things don’t go our way. We get to be annoyed and disgruntled, and we get to make a choice not to belabor our feelings. It’s like the ole Serenity Prayer—accept the things we cannot change . . .

When we make the decision to get on with it, and take care of the problem, we turn a negative situation into a positive action. Acceptance and taking action are positive steps, but sometimes in recovery, things seem like an approaching tidal wave, and can make us feel like escaping. We know the danger escape can pose to our hard-won sobriety. That’s when we need to talk to the level-headed friends we’ve made through our addiction recovery group. They can support and encourage us to keep the focus on our recovery and reinforce our already established ability to get through tough times. Just because we got sober doesn’t mean problems and irritating things won’t occur. It does mean that we can handle them in a manner that leaves us in a more positive frame of mind.

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Why Does the Truth Hurt So Much?

The truth hurts because it makes us confront something to which we’ve been in denial. Think about when you first entered the rehab or your first AA or NA meeting. You might have felt dejected, angry, ashamed or any number of other emotions. The truth can hurt because you feel exposed.

Perhaps you don’t want to feel at fault, but when the truth roles in with the tide, you can be pulled down by the undercurrent of denial. Addiction is rampant with denial—it’s the cell, the lock and key—all in one. It’s a scary feeling. You’ve lost your footing, it can be hard to breathe. Now, you think, what am I going to do? You may not want to face the truth and think, How can I get out of this? The thing is, you can’t get out of it. It’s already seeped into your psyche.

You may have heard the expression, the only way out is through. Whatever it is that you are afraid of, is what you have to face. In matters of addiction, you used all your energy trying to fool others and yourself that you didn’t have a problem. Shame hurts, acceptance hurts, but now that the truth is out, there’s this great spirited thing called hope!

In addition to facing the truth of an addiction, you may one day realize you are a trauma survivor. When horrific things happen, your body uses its coping mechanisms. It takes the event by the hand and pulls it into the recesses of your mind, so you don’t have to feel it. When working with a therapist on addiction issues, you might release a few memories. They could float up and pop. Oh my God, this can’t be true, I hate this thought, what am I ever going to do to get rid of these terrible feelings? The truth hurts because it can feel like the unknown— unknown waters, unknown territory, quicksand, and tidal waves.

When the truth hurts, acknowledge it. Work with a therapist to understand all its parameters, consequences and meaning. The more you face the truth, the less it will hurt. Depending upon its scope, healing from emotional pain can take time, just like recovery from an addiction. The two can be interwoven, but you can take all the time you need. That’s because you are alive and in recovery and moving forward with your valuable life.

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Is My Recovery Really Selfish?

You heard someone say the program you are in is a selfish one. This might make you wonder if all that you are doing for yourself; the meetings, group therapy, therapy and even rehab can be construed as selfish behavior. You might already have enough angst about the progress of your recovery without thinking of it as selfish.

Perhaps you jumped on the notion of selfishness because your mother or father always said you were a selfish child, and you owned that criticism. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, selfish means lacking consideration for others; and; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure. A child naturally thinks the world revolves around him or her. There are teachable moments when parents can demonstrate for their children what selfishness looks like.

When caught in the talons of addiction, you might not have been the most considerate person. In fact, addiction could have made you selfish. All you thought about was how, when or where you were going to get your next fix or drink, but getting sober is far from selfish!

Your childhood experience with selfishness, highlighted by a recovery program slogan, or memories about selfishness when in active addiction, doesn’t have to be turned into a self-sabotaging moment. Many people in recovery are not proud of the things they did before sobriety. What you can do is own your old stuff and take responsibility to ensure you’ll stay sober. You can also take steps to make amends to those who may have been hurt by behaviors brought on as a result of addiction.

You can’t change anything until you are aware of it. Issues arrive in recovery when you are ready to handle them. A friend or a fellow in a meeting may say something that triggers an awareness about your own personality or a behavior. There it is right out in the open. Someone has been brutally honest about how neglectful they were to their family during their drinking days. Ouch, you think, so was I. I was so demanding of my kids. They couldn’t do anything right! Oh, my poor kids, how can I ever make it up to them? You can, and you will when the time is right. You’ll know.

“Selfishness comes from poverty in the heart, from the belief that love is not abundant.”—Don Miguel Ruiz

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Romance at the Rehab

What better place to find a love partner than in the safety net of a rehab for addiction, right? You know you’re at the rehab for a very important reason—to treat an addiction, and in doing so, to save your life. While attractions can naturally happen at the rehab, pursuing an intimate, love relationship is highly discouraged. Still, consenting adults may not understand what’s at stake, and break the rules. An attraction for a counselor can also occur.

When you feel romantic notions towards another at the rehab, there are a few things you can do to deter you from taking action. Talk to a friend you’ve made, and tell them what’s going on with you. They may have the capacity and care for you to reinforce the reasons why romance and sexual encounters are not a good idea. For one, they are a huge distraction. Keeping focussed on your treatment program needs to be your number one priority. Whatever your preference, why muck it all up spending time thinking about a man or a woman instead of your treasured recovery?

What if you enter into a fling with someone who’s married? You may have left your scruples in all the empty alcohol bottles, needles or straws, but things are different now. Along with putting down the substance of your choice, lasting recovery requires you to make changes in your behavior and attitude. That old adage, think before you act, has merit here.

Take your crush and think about the consequences if you act upon an inclination. Remember, it’s the first drink that get you drunk, and, romantic endeavors are a slip of judgment that can waylay your treatment. The person you have your eyes on could be someone who’s not committed to sobriety or drug abstinence. They could just be at the rehab to please their employer, spouse and or children. You don’t really know.

After you’ve spoken with a friend, follow up with your assigned therapist when next you meet. Doing so can help fortify the real reason you are at the rehab. Secret rendezvous, and really, secrets of any kind can work against you. Getting sober is not about cheating yourself out of the precious time you spend learning about addiction and yourself. It’s about honestly dealing with yourself and others. There will come a time in your future for falling in love. Wouldn’t it be better to have a solid sober foundation first? Of course it would.

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What Helps to Break the Pattern of Depression?

Not all therapists use the same strategies for dealing with your depression. Notice the ownership language used in the first sentence, your depression. Does this sound familiar? Hi, I’m Bill, or Jane, and I’m an alcoholic. This kind of language puts an adhesive label on you. I am a depressed person, and or, I am an alcoholic. Instead of using a label, consider saying, I am a person who suffers from depression; I am a person with an addiction. How language is used can shift your perspective.

Your therapist and you may investigate what’s driving the narrative that is keeping you depressed, and keeping it alive? What is the pattern that’s holding you captive? Let’s say you got poor grades in high school, but you applied to colleges with the hope of getting in to one of your choices. You were accepted to one, but the financial package offered didn’t help enough. You ask your parents for financial assistance, but they were divorced and couldn’t help.

One disappointment can snowball to the point where you lose perspective, and begin thinking you are a failure. From that point on, your focus is inward—I’ve failed, my parents won’t help, I’m never going to amount to anything, and so forth.

Reframing a story you repeat to yourself is one way to help break the pattern of depression. Instead of concluding with failure, write a new story with empathy for yourself. My grades were poor in school because my parents fought all the time. I did the best I could to get myself a college education, and I don’t have to give up. I can look into taking a few college level courses at the local university, and explore my options. By connecting to the outside, rather than connecting to the inside of oneself, one’s perspective and narrative can change. It’s action focused rather than inward focus.

Low motivation often times hangs on the arms of depression, and can be a roadblock to action. Make a list of 100 things that give you, or once gave you the slightest degree or more of pleasure. For instance, a bird’s call, blue sky, a flower, the deep red in the carpet, your compound miter saw, or playing tennis on clay courts. By making the list, you are engendering positive emotions. Positive emotions can jump start your life again.

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Silver Linings in Recovery

From your perspective, silver linings in recovery might seem like a ridiculous notion. Your personal story of substance abuse, and its consequences is enough to sink the proverbial Titanic. In fact, even though you’re in recovery, you feel as if you’re on the ship. The silver lining or linings may not be know to you now, but it doesn’t mean they won’t show themselves at one point in time or another.

When you’re in recovery, you may be healing from many wounds: old wounds from childhood, self-deprecating wounds you laid on yourself for having an addiction, or for neglecting and hurting family members verbally, physically or worse, wounds from war or environmental disasters or a car accident which left you seriously hurt with doctor’s bills you can’t afford. Whatever the wounds may be, they are real and alive in you, but they don’t always have to have power over you like alcohol once did.

You might question, what’s this business of a silver lining in recovery? A silver lining can manifest in any number of ways. This is where time, intention and patience enter into the picture. Time heals all wounds; time management will help my productivity in life; and time is on my side, are just a few thoughts about time. However, an important part of recovery is understanding that it takes time to heal well. Recovery takes patience with yourself and others. Lasting recovery necessitates a clear intention to change our negative behaviors and attitudes into positive ones.

A standard line of thinking is once you have an addiction to alcohol, you always have it. There are some in recovery who profess they are actually glad to have the disease of alcoholism. Here’s where the silver lining enters. When one says they are glad, they are referring to the benefits from recovery they never would have had or felt if they hadn’t first had an addiction to alcohol. People who work on their recovery change.

Silver linings are different for each person, with one steady parameter—they learn how to live life on life’s terms. Sure, difficult times come and go, but being able to handle them without a drink or a substitute is one bright silver lining. Change allows for new visions, goal setting, personal growth in areas like self esteem, acceptance and motivation. Keep up the rewarding and sometimes difficult work of self discovery. See the silver linings for yourself!

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How to Normalize Your Sobriety

Perhaps right now you are making aftercare plans at the rehab where you’ve spent the last 28 days. At first you didn’t even want to go there—you didn’t need addiction recovery, right? Maybe you knew you needed to go, but the thought of spending 28 days with strangers, while you faced an addiction, seemed overwhelming and scary.

Here you are ready to leave the rehab, and the reversal could be true. That is, you don’t want to leave this safe environment. You’ve made close friends, shared your hopes, dreams, fears, regrets and shame with them. The thought of walking out into the world feels frightening. The fear you’re feeling may be the fear of the unknown, but your counselor is not going to let you down. You’ve spent a lot of time working on your coping skills, you know what meeting you are going to attend the minute you arrive home, and you’ve lined up a therapist.

You’ve gotten yourself sober. You had that courage, and you can find the courage to take the next big step towards normal living. Is there really any such thing as normal living, normal people, normal employment, and fairness, and opportunities? You’ve heard people say, it’s all what you make of it. You can leave the rehab by starting out with an attitude of gratitude.

Try to experience each sober moment. I’m on the plane flying home now. The flight attendant is offering drinks. I don’t need one, and I don’t want one! The plane lands. My girlfriend is waiting for me outside the gate. I can choose not to feel ashamed about where I’ve been. I can choose to be proud of what I’ve accomplished, my perspective, how valuable life is now, how grateful I am that she is there smiling at me. The airport is hectic and noisy. I can focus on my breathing.

I already have a list of my priorities for sober living, and I remind myself that I have choices. I can look for a new position, but I don’t have to rush. I don’t have to please everyone anymore, and, I can be kind. I’m not perfect. I’m going to make mistakes. Love, kindness, generosity, gratitude, acceptance are values I hold dear.

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A Gentle Approach to Ease Anxiety and Depression

The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICAMB) recently published a five minute video on how two simple and gentle actions can help with depression. The video highlights the work of Dr. Steven Hayes, PhD, founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

The premise, he relates, is connecting to your values, opening up to your thoughts, and also to contribution and play. He suggests to do one new thing everyday that is connected to your values. By values he doesn’t mean something grand, but he says, the quality of being and doing, as if it’s just a secret between you and the mirror. The second thing is to do one kind thing everyday. The kindness could be towards yourself of another. He says the kindness should not be what would gain applause, and that it would be even better, if it you played a sort of game to not get caught doing the kind act.

These two steps have the ability to orient one to what they want in life and how they want to connect with others. The emphasis on going to your work, for example, could be about doing or making something that someone else needs, rather than doing it for making money.

The inroad is drawing attention to what brings meaning and purpose to your life, by doing one new thing everyday and one kind thing. These acts soften the approach to feeling better, and provide a way forward. The way forward is not about personal judgements and heaviness like, I have to do this, white knuckle it and fight my way out of the depression and anxiety.

Dr. Hayes says that depressed people worry about what others think about them. They are very hard on themselves about their depression. When working with certain women and men he found that they were brought up to be good little girls, and good little boys. The focus of doing good was for the benefit or approval of the parents. The idea to connect to the joy of others and doing for others brings about a whole different emphasis than with childhood training. Joy can now be found, by bringing it to others and connecting with your own values and purpose.

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